Monday, February 13, 2012

I Am Subtle

I shouldn’t have been troubled how my life with you would be if I only knew how time rolled so fast. Before I figured out that I was completely behind it and that it’s already pretty far ahead, I saw myself on the road where people change, come and go. They are all busy. I wonder if ever I’d cry for help, would they even notice my scream. Would they even see me in the first place? That, I’m sure they would because I've spent these years trying to be visible to everyone. I am not invisible. I have never been invisible.

I have spent my whole life making you happy and satisfying you with everything I have and even those that I don’t. I made you feel that you also belong to the world you thought you’re invisible to. And now that you feel so visible, now that you’re handed with things I used to give you but were just wrapped in a different way, from people whom you look up to, I know it's kind of ironic to think of, but I can sense you're making me feel the way you felt before—invisible. I couldn’t imagine how you managed to do that despite the days when I would let myself catch a disease-causing drizzle at dusk just to make you feel safe under my own little umbrella. The most painful thing I couldn’t ever imagine you doing is to say to me that you have never asked me to help you, to make you visible to everyone, to give you everything to the point of the guilt of indebtedness.

I hope that people won’t turn out to be like you who easily get blinded with your own visibility, with everything that gets visible to you and with those that shine like diamonds in the night which outshine the virtues you have to at least be aware of and even the slightest virtue you have. Still, I would do everything to keep you away from it and to bring your sight back. The problem is: how can I help you now that I am invisible? Now that you made me invisible?

Now that everyone is so concerned about how they’d bait themselves to catch dates this Valentine’s, I want to take this opportunity to make them realize or at least see a more meaningful love, if it is really love they are after for, right behind them at the corner of their eyes. They might be so troubled about this "serious" problem but they might also forget to simplify the complexities of the problem, a step which most of us would just skip. The answer is right behind them at the corner of their eyes. And the real problem is, they are afraid to look back.

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