Sunday, April 22, 2012

Sucking Sugar In Bitter Fruits

A solitary life is like a gigantic piece of rock in the middle of a desert. You thought you’re different, that you’re not going to fit in ever, but the brighter side of it is, everybody is just waiting for you to enter a phase of desolation wherein they can pick your life up—decay and weather like everybody else did and be one of them. That takes a major step to be one of them and to fit in, but don’t you think there’s somebody else, another gigantic rock in the middle of the same desert you’re in, feeling the same way? Life is not always about determining if you’re happy or sad, and whining about why you’re such. It’s how you see things despite having been through a lot to the point of even changing your perspectives and how you think your life should become. It’s how you see the good in everything. It’s how you see the advantage in solitude.

My intention is not to make everybody live their lives alone since we all agree that no man is an island. I was a bit moved by what I read in our Comm 3 (Speech Communication) book which I think tackles mainly about irrelevant things. I mean, is this a psychology book or something? I just finished reading the chapter entitled, “Intrapersonal Communication” and prior to that, just about my first two days here in Manila when I was primarily attacked by this kind of “sickness”, I read stuff about how to live alone happily, so to tell you, these are the things that triggered these spurts of emotions.

Who am I?

This is the first question that the book has bombarded the reader at start. Do we really know who we are? My answer is definitely a big NO. And I’m sure yours should be no, too. Of all the things that we know, like what’s inclusive of the process of breaking down a glucose to two molecules of pyruvic acid, like how we start proving a certain trigonometric identity, like how a certain slope affect the weight of an object, and stuff like that, we don’t exactly even know who we really are and why we’re like that. There are things that both ourselves and others are aware of, things that you know you have but you prefer to hide from others, things that others see but not you, and things that both of you aren’t aware of at all. So basically, we don’t fully know and understand ourselves. The goal of solitude is to make these unknown things about you diminish, and naturally not fully disappear.

Have you ever experienced that awkward feeling when you’re new at a certain place and you’re more than desperate to find new friends or companions at least? You may even befriend the unfriendliest dude one could ever meet. You look pathetic and desperate at that. The misconception of people about being alone is like, “Does he/she even know what a word friend means? Or a companion at least?” That! That’s what people think of it. And you know what? They’re wrong. Because in solitude, you will learn not to easily give in to entering a lousy relationship, a substandard friendship, or something that is for the mean time. Ouch! The third one is really painful.

I’m not telling you to break up with everyone and live your life alone. If you’ve got great friends who you can count on, who is considerate of you, who respects you, who is thankful of having you as a friend, who says sorry and means it when he/she does anything that could hurt you emotionally and superficially, who doesn’t just think of him/herself but also your own, and whom you can barely think of reasons in leaving, treasure them because friends like that, I tell you, are really hard to find.

Solitude can teach you not to give in to lousy people who are a complete opposite of the ones listed above. It teaches you to try a bit harder in finding friends that you deserve.

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